Think about what soothes you – a particular type of music, someone’s tone of voice,perhaps the sound of a rippling brook.
Now think of the sounds that grate on the ear – maybe loud music, an angry voice, a crack of thunder?
How does your body react to these? What helps you relax and what makes you tense?
Throughout the day you will find different things make you happy, sad, angry or maybe even bored. We ‘somatise’ our emotions – soak them up and store them. Then we are very bad at letting go of those emotions. We are taught to ‘behave’, ‘grow up’, ‘don’t be childish’.
How often do allow yourself to say exactly how you feel? And if you did would you be able to do so in a positive way?
‘I can’t hurt his feelings by saying I don’t want to…’
‘I don’t want to make a fuss’
‘I don’t know how to say how unhappy I am’
‘I can’t say anything or I will be reprimanded’.
We then start to turn these thoughts in on ourselves saying ‘I am so stupid/silly’ or ‘I am a lost cause’, ‘I’ll never get anything right’, ‘I’m bound to make another mistake’, ‘It’s all my fault’.
Stop for a moment and notice how your energy is depleted by hearing these sounds (words) that you are saying to yourself and others.
How can you reframe your words to make them sound more positive?
Here’s a few to help you start your transformation- practice whilst sitting quietly:-
‘I will try to change the way I feel about myself’.
‘I can change, I just need to find out how’.
‘I have a lot to offer’.
‘I need to be kinder to myself’.
‘My feelings are important’.
Now notice how you are holding these thoughts and feelings in your body. Where do you feel tense – pay some attention to that area and breathe into it as you remind yourself that you are a human being like all of us and the start of looking after yourself is self compassion.
Go gently.
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